By: Doug Hart
In order to really secure a happiness that will last beyond the immediate “rush” of whatever is making you smile at the moment, you must find a balance between all of the major areas in your life. These are easily identified by most people, but we tend to forget how important each component is in our lives until some crisis in one area brings it back into focus.
Many people associate only one or two different components in their lives as bringing them happiness: money, spirituality, relationships, or health. However, research has shown unequivocally that it really takes a measure of abundance in each of these main areas to really achieve a true, lasting happiness. In addition, I would add some more to the mix myself, which I will explain later.
Do have a really terrific relationship, but never seem to have enough money to feel secure? Perhaps you suffer from the opposite situation, plenty of money but never finding happiness or satisfaction from your relationships? Everyone would love to have success in both these areas of life, but how to achieve it is the question.
I think we get caught up in the “motivation trap” of chasing one dream and tend to forget about all of the other things that make us happy. There is an old saying “he who tries to catch two rabbits, usually ends up with none”. How many people (especially men, I hate to say) are very driven in their careers and make good money, but end up in the hospital due to the neglect to their health? High blood pressure, poor diet, lack of exercise, smoking, they are all problems that you cannot ignore for long if you want health happiness. You might say “where do I find the time” when it comes to getting healthy?
The truth is most of us waste far more time doing little or nothing, due to our lack of focus in life. We watch TV, talk on the phone, and spend hours surfing the web (guilty as charged!). If you find you can’t exercise due to time constraints, why not fit a 30-minute workout in while the morning before work?
Maybe right after work, before going home to relax and have dinner? I have found that a workout actually brings my mental energy back into focus too, which gives me more physical energy. The point is if you want to be healthy, you must find the time to exercise and the discipline to eat better food. Being a fanatic about it isn’t necessary, but some degree of attention towards our health is certainly good, right? Somewhat of a no-brainer, really
Ok, what about the other important areas? Let’s take spirituality for example. Many people go to church or synagogue to fulfill their needs for spirituality, but do you have to in order to find true happiness? Of course not, but you may find yourself lacking a certain peace of mind if you don’t do some soul-searching once in awhile.
Like a feeling that you forgot something, it will continue to gnaw at you until you fulfill this need. We all seem to have a need to believe in a higher power, and most studies show that people that have at least a belief in a higher power feel better about their lives than those that don’t. My guess is it’s a basic human desire to feel connected to this higher power, but church is also a terrific social outlet for people as well.
This brings me to another important component of happiness – relationships. I’m not just talking about husband/wife, or even the immediate family relationship (children, parents, grandparents), although those are all important, right? What about your necessity to be around others, to get out and talk with and meet new people?
This is very important to a healthy personality and to happiness itself. You may know of someone that shuns social situations, and if so think about what that person’s level of happiness is. Probably not that great, I’m guessing. We all need to socialize at least some of the time, although not all people have the need as frequently as some others do.
My last pillar of happiness would have to be freedom; we all need a measure of freedom, or independence if you will, to be able to make decisions for ourselves. To feel in control of our lives at some level is quite necessary to happiness. Just think about how hard it would be for you to be happy if you had no choice about what job you could do each day, or where you could live, or what persons you were allowed to spend time with. Let alone the freedoms we take for granted like speech, freedom to leave our homes at will, and express ourselves with music, religion, taste in clothes. The list goes on forever!
I guess my conclusion is, don’t concentrate on just one area of your life thinking it will bring happiness. Sit down and make a list of the things that may need more attention, one pillar at a time, and work on bringing more abundance in that area. Your happiness level should see a definite increase!
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